Reminder to me..

I thought I better jot this down before the feeling quickly spirals down. After all parenting is just like a roller coaster.. you have your high's, and then you have your low's. ;)

I am grateful for my kids and to be a mom today! :) I woke up to Mike giving me a kiss and soon little Gracie kissing me too, telling me it was time to wake up and get ready for school... I had about 15 min to get her ready!! I was panicked!! I threw on my yoga pants and an over sized sweater and ran to Gracie's room, grabbed an outfit, then I ran downstairs quickly made her a PB and honey sandwich (her favorite) threw that in her lunch box with crackers and a water bottle. I can never put apple slices or carrots in her lunch because she won't eat it!! She barely even eats all her sandwich! that girl is all play and no eat. When she comes home, I have her sit down and eat the rest of her lunch while she does any school work the teacher sent home.. most day's there isn't. Mike had already fed her breakfast, so I quickly put her hair in a pony tail, put on her coat, and ran out the door! We barely made it! My favorite thing though, is when the bus pulls up and she is walking towards the door, she yells "I LOVE YOU MOM!!" and blow's a kiss. I was in this rushed feeling this morning and it had me feeling grumpy inside, but that sweet little girl reminded me of what really matters, and that is her and the relationship we are building. I don't want my kids to have more memories of me rushed and grumpy vs giving my full attention to them and being happy, even if we are running late. Worst case, I could've driven her and she would have still made it on time.

When I came home, Mike tells me how beautiful I look ( bed head and all!) haha ( think he forgot his contacts) and gives me a kiss. Another nice reminder of how blessed I am, unknown to him, I really needed that, I get so hard on myself and I don't see what he see's. Even though I know who I am, a daughter of God, there are moments when I am hard on myself and it's hard to see what other's do. There are day's when all I can see is everything I am doing wrong. Mike is one who loves to remind me of what I am not seeing.. he's biased, but I am lucky and so happy that he does see it. ;) Because he could be just be seeing Zombie Mommy and be totally justified in it. haha

After he leaves, the house is quiet, Michael and Abigail are still sleeping!! MIRACLE!! and so I lay down and rest for a sec..seriously.. a second and Michael comes to join me. We cuddle for a bit and then I hear Abigail through the monitor.. "mama.. mama..mama.." I just love the way she say's my name. It's so cute! She does it in her soft little 1 year old tone... unless she's mad.. then she is yelling in a raspy, bossy tone. haha.. So I go get her and she squeals when she see's Michael and Sunny. She gives them hugs and then she comes back to give  me a hug and a kiss. She hears her daddy doing his special whistle that he does for the kids, and she squeals again and goes running to find him. They exchange a hug and a kiss and then she is back down running to go play. Mike has to leave for work, gives me another kiss and is out the door.

That is how most mornings go, and you just get use to it and take it for granted and see nothing that special about it.. but today I reflected and woke up and saw how blessed I am. Everyday is special like this and I have sweet children who call me "mama" and a husband who calls me "sweetheart" and most days are crazy but if I had to choose a dream job, right now I think this would be it. I need to remind myself of that.. and probably as soon as this afternoon. ;)

I use to say when I was younger, that if I could be anything when I grew up, it would be a mom. It's not as glamorous as I thought it would be.. it's hard some days, it's tiring, and it never ends.. but taking that moment to look at these little one's that Heavenly Father sends for you to watch over is a huge blessing and the greatest task in the world. I get paid with slobbery kisses and messy, sticky hugs, stains on my cutest clothes, hysterical crying when I leave, eye's lit up when I walk in the door, and little voice's calling me mama and mommy.

Note to self, when I am having a bad moment, when the kids are grumpy, whiny, fighting, and screaming.. put them in their rooms and come re-read this post so I can remind myself they are actually angels too.... most, I mean some, err.. at  least half of the time! :/ haha..

6 Years!!!

Gracie turned 6 years old today! 6 years? How does time fly so fast? 2 more years and Gracie will be at an age to choose baptism, 6 more years and she will be 12, going into Young Womens.. which is a huge milestone in our church.. both of them are.. and she is almost there. I just can't believe it.

6 years ago today Mike and I were in the hospital holding our sweet tiny baby girl, and just staring at her all night long.. Thinking what a year it had been and what a surprise she was and what a gift she was now.. Grace, God's gift.

She came super quick!! Just FYI some of this might seem TMI.. ;) I want to tell her birth story.. it's not super long, because she came quick! hahaha
On October 14th I lost my plug and thought I was going into labor 2 weeks early! She wasn't due until Halloween day.. haha but I made it until the 23rd and I had a doctor's appointment that day. My doctor had swiped the membranes and said if I was ready for labor, it would happen. As soon as I left the doctor's I felt funny and felt new sensations and was a little worried for what labor would bring. It was a Thursday and that evening Mike and I went golfing with his dad.. well they golfed.. I road in the cart and Mike's dad kept trying to go over bumps..to push me into labor.. it was funny. Nothing happened.. just irregular and sporadic contractions. We ordered Teriyaki from our favorite place, enjoyed dinner with his parents and we played rummikub while my mother in law timed my contractions. They were painful but not regular, so Mike and I went home. We decided to have a slumber party in the living room. We brought out an air mattress and watched the first season of 24 all night long I had contractions the whole time and I felt these weird sensations that felt like as if Grace was scratching her way out, and I remember the last one of those hurt to the point that I let out a jump like scream. It was shocking and it came out of no where!

The next morning Mike had work and since I wasn't contracting regularly he was going to go in. We had our morning prayer together and during the prayer we both had a feeling that he needed to stay home. I didn't see why, because  labor didn't seem to be coming at any time soon.. but I had never been in labor before and didn't know what to expect.
Contraction's started getting really painful but not close enough together to take me to the hospital so I stayed put like the nurses told me to.. plus my water hadn't broken yet. By the time 10:30 am rolled around, I was in tears.. it was soooo painful. I had back labor and it felt like my back was breaking slowly. I can remember the only relief I got was hanging behind the back of our couch and squatting behind it and rolling my hips around... or taking numerous hot bath's. I even put a tennis ball between my back and the wall and rolled around to massage my back with all the force I had. At 11:00 am Mike called the Hospital to ask question's cause he was obviously worried about me and they said not to come in until contraction's have hit 3-5 min apart for 1 hour. Mine were more like 5 min here, 10 min there, 2 min here, 8 min there.. etc.. so we stayed put and I felt so discouraged. So I said a prayer and asked that if this was it.. which I was sure it was, that I my body would regulate the contractions so we could check in... and as soon and I said "amen" BOOM BAM, the contraction's came 3 min apart for 1 hour straight!

Funny side note.. during the window of time, the cable man came by to install our cable.. when he walked in, he saw quite the site! (I was clothed!!) don't worry but I was on my hands and knees swaying my hips around moaning and crying.. He said to Mike, you need to get that women to a hospital!! FAST!! haha
He hurried and installed the cable and we had made it 3 min apart for 1 hour just as he finished. SO we booked it out to the car fast! but as we got out there, I suddenly felt like I had to go number two.. but I couldn't.. and then I felt the head baring down and contractions were seriously like 30 sec apart! The hospital drive was at least 30 min from where we were living.. with traffic.. it was the middle of the day and there was a TON of traffic! and I swear we hit every red light! I was panicking! I couldn't even sit! I was holding my bum off the seat.. it felt impossible to sit down.

Once we got to the hospital, it took me a while to get it in there because every 30 sec came a new contraction and every one just kept getting stronger and longer and more painful. So I had to stop and get on all fours on the ground and breathe. Luckily a worker saw me and came running out with a wheel chair and helped me get in there quick! again, was holding my bum off the seat and just crying and breathing.. probably just like you see in the movies.. except I am not that dramatic.. I was actually pretty sweet to the nurses.. haha (I know this cause they told me what a sweet heart I was and thanked me for not yelling at them later after giving birth) lol.. but anyway.. I got checked in and they took me into the delivery room and asked me to undress and pee into a cup.. I couldn't pee.. I started to cry and told the nurse that I couldn't do it.. she told me that I was being too dramatic and to try again.. she also said that I wasn't really in labor but probably false labor since my water hadn't broken. I stood my ground and told her I really couldn't pee.. I was afraid Grace's head would come out!  So the nurse gave in and told me to go lay on the bed and she would check and see how far dilated I was. Meanwhile this is taking a while and was almost impossible to do because of what my body was going through at the moment... and any one who has given birth naturally and has felt all the stages of labor would totally understand.. it is not over exaggerated at all.. and you can't even put it into words!
Anyway.. She checked and to her surprise she see's that I am fully dilated and effaced and the head was crowning! She just started yelling for help and for a doctor. She looked at me and said "honey, you need to not push and just hold her in." I said, "okay?" and from that point forward I felt like I was having a seizure because I was being forced to lay down on my back.. which is totally uncomfortable.. and lay still while they put needles in my arm and wrist. I remember looking up at Mike and trying to breathe.. which he was doing with me.. it was so sweet.. when looking back! haha. I also remember looking down at my legs and seeing them shake really wildly as I was trying to hold myself still and trying to breathe.

Some nurses came in with papers and wanted me to sign them and then asked me if I wanted an epidural..!!?? What!!?? I just said, I don't have time!! and then it hit me!! I was going to feel everything.. and I just got sick to my stomach! Right then my sweet amazing Doctor came running in! literally!! She was out for a run when she got the page and she came running in to the room in her workout gear!  It was sooo funny! She put the scrubs on and helped get me into position and told me to push when I felt ready, and boy was I ready! ;) When I was pushing, which was really short lived.. in my adrenaline rush, I yelled out, "I FEEL THE RING OF FIRE!!!" hahahaha, My doctor and I still laugh about that when we see each other. In my defense, Mike and I had taken a Lamaze class and I thought the "ring of fire" was a medical term when reaching a certain point during delivery where everything down south is stretching and the baby's head is squeezing out.. TMI? :/ anyways I felt that happening and I yelled it out for everyone to hear! hahaha, too funny!

With 3 quick pushes,  tiny little Grace made it into my arms. I was in sooo much shock! I looked over at mike and he was teary and slightly crying.. while I just looked at her with unbelief of what just happened? It was amazing!

We were sooo in love and even more in love now! I can't believe that was 6 years ago, when it feels like yesterday!
Grace is so full of life! She is sooo funny and she is a born leader. She can walk up to anyone and give them instructions and invite them to play without hesitating or feeling scared. She is take charge kind of girl. She isn't shy at all. But at the same time she is very sweet and thoughtful of other's. She doesn't have a loud voice and she doesn't always speak up. She'll just smile and play along. She is very balanced. She is beautiful and delicate. She has delicate features and a tiny body but  a strong spirit to accompany it. She is a super fast runner!! Really it's incredible! She is a great gymnast and she loves to do flips, jumps, and spins! She is fearless! She loves to sing and she loves to dance, without any training, she really is incredible! and we are so proud of her and her many talents. She loves people and she is great at showing it. She is a great friend, and a loving sister to her siblings and a great example to me on how to show love and patience and selflessness. She has always had a strong testimony of Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father. We have taught her about them and the teachings of the gospel.. but she feels it's truthfulness and she responds to it strongly. I know that she has a testimony and I know she has had it all along and that was something she was blessed with. She may be tiny in body but she is a giant in spirit among all others. Her spirit radiates in her countenance. I just love her sooo much! She is our Gracie Girl.

Today she had a princess pizza party. She got to invite a few (girl) friends to enjoy home made pizza, games and some girly stuff. They dressed in their finest princess dresses too. She had a blast and now is all tuckered out sleeping on a big air mattress with her best friend, Shi, and her cousin Peyton.
It was a long day! for me especially.. but it was sooo worth it, to see our little girl beam from ear to ear tonight. I took pictures and will post those later but I am ready for a spa day right now.. I need my feet rubbed and I need a nice hot bubble bath.

So anyway, I am headed to bed but I will leave you with this picture of me and sweet baby girl that my husband took. It captures her sweet spirit completely. :)  Warning the picture isn't at it's finest quality on the blog.. I'm a little lazy and tired right now to fix it.. so this will have to do. ;) but I love this picture because it capture's the eternal bond we have, not just here on earth but forever in eternity. We chose each other, we are friends, we are sister's and she chose me as her mother on earth. This pictures say's it all to me. Our Souls are connected deeply.