About a month ago I promised to write out what I was doing that helped me lose 30 lbs, but I was so busy getting ready for my trip to Utah that I put it off till now. The kids are watching a movie and I feel like I have some time to write it out with some recipes too. ;)
So over the last couple years I've been reading books and articles on "Healthy Eating." There is so much controversy on different food groups and a lot of conspiracy theories on government and food. It's all pretty interesting.. I'm not as extreme as some of these people but I think it's wise to really pay attention to what we fuel our bodies with.
I was thinking how the Lord has said our bodies are a temple, so why am I killing myself with so much sugar and chemicals? A lot of the foods we eat are like poison and are slowly killing us. Sugar feeds cancer cells, helps them grow and weakens our immune system. Other foods such as bread and dairy, corn, soy, peanuts, and artificial sweeteners and sugar cause inflammation in our brain, our internal organs which causes us to feel bloated and "foggy minded" and just plain "weighed down." That was how I felt. I felt sick. I would get comments frequently from people asking when my baby was due? My baby, is almost 2.. (when these comments were being made) I'm not offended because who can blame them? I looked pregnant. The other thing was I was craving these foods constantly and I felt trapped. I'm sure there are some of you out there who could relate.. ;)
I decided that I wanted to change.. so I experimented with taking bread, corn, soy, sugar, peanuts, and dairy out of my diet. Within a week I lost 7 lbs! It was all inflammation! My belly went down my brain felt more sharp and I had a lot more energy. It's called the "virgin diet" if you are interested, look it up, it's a really good read and very informative. You go without those foods and then slowly introduce them back into your diet one at a time so you can figure out what your body disagrees with. Mike and I both have a hard time with Dairy and Wheat. So for the most part we've completely eliminated those foods out of our diet. We aren't super strict on it.. but 90% of our week has no wheat, dairy, or sugar in it.
Our diet consist of veggies, fruits, nuts, beans, brown rice, and chicken. It's sounds aweful... You should see the looks I get when I talk about it.. I felt the same way. I had that same "she is crazy" look on my face that you have on yours right now! haha.. but seriously, I love eating this way! It's very simple, less costly, and you learn to enjoy veggies! and I've learned to get creative.. I'm not a master chef but I'm slowly learning.. ;)
We also eat less meat and more beans and rice together.. brown rice that is. It makes a perfect protein. This is something Mike and I decided to do on our own without reading a book or article on it. I'm sure there are some out there though. Mike lived on beans and rice on his mission in brazil and really enjoyed it. He asked me one night if we could do that a couple nights a week. So I made a crockpot full of Brazilian black beans made with no meat.. just seasonings and salt and we loved it so much, and we loved the way we felt afterwards that I asked Mike if he would be up for meatless dinners majority of the week. I was surprised that he was so excited and on board for it. I really love that he is super supportive of our healthy lifestyle. Even if it's no steak dinner, he treats our meals like they are the best thing he has ever eaten, and I am just so grateful, because it seems boring the way I cook.
So what I do with the black beans and brown rice: I make taco salads.. lettuce, tomato, peppers, mushrooms, nuts, salsa and lime or lemon freshly squeezed over the lettuce for dressing with a pinch of salt, and avocado. We had this last night, it's one our go to meals and we love it!
I also make a black bean chili. I sauté in a pan, zucchini, onion and garlic, canned chopped tomatoes (just tomatoes, non of that added sugar crap), black beans from the crockpot, and chili seasonings of your choice, with extra garlic powder, onion powder, salt, pepper.. etc.. This takes me 10-15 min max. I also bake a sweet potato in the oven ahead of time on 425 degrees for about 45 min. I poke holes in the potato ahead of time. One potato feeds both mike and I. When it's done, I cut it in half, add coconut oil, salt and pepper, then I pour over the chili. I don't add sour cream or cheese.. but sometimes I chop up avocado on top. I serve these meals with added veggie. We love Asparagus! I wash one bunch of Asparagus, lightly coat it in olive oil on a baking sheet, salt and pepper them and put in the oven for about 10-13 min on 425 in the oven. They are the best! our kids who are soooooo picky devour them up! I do the same with Brussels sprouts except I cut them in half before baking them so that the oil and seasoning gets inside and give it's an extra crunchy texture. The thing to keep in min though, is to not over cook your veggies ever! You still want as much nutrients in them as possible and cooking them, makes them lose some of those. Just something to be aware of.
I should mention that our kids don't completely eat this way. Abigail will since she is so young.. but Grace and Michael, still like their bread and cheese.. which isn't terribly un healthy, but we are introducing them to more varieties of vegetables than just carrots and green peas and broccoli. So sometime I make them something different than what I make for Mike and I. I just give them a small portion of what we are having on their plate to try along with their "healthy chicken nuggets" and green peas.. haha.. They have really enjoyed beets and asparagus. Those are the favorites right now.
I've really felt inspired to teach our family to eat like this, to be more simple and to enjoy simple foods. I don't know why, but I feel very good inside that we are heading in the right direction this way. but aside from that, the results speak for themselves as far as our health goes. I've lost 30 lbs so far! Mike lost 30 lbs too! I've also gotten comments from strangers on how beautiful my skin and hair is. This lady from a health food store who is a big time homeopathic health specialist told me the other day that she could tell I was very healthy and that I ate healthy because of my skin. (I wasn't wearing makeup either) Which is a huge compliment because I think I look like death without makeup! ;) but those comments really inspire me to keep eating this way, because it's not just for weight loss, it's for a healthy body! I believe God requires us to take care of ourselves, so I think what ever it takes to help our bodies function at their best should be a top priority.. but with that said.. I still eat brownies and ice cream once in a while and I still go out to eat with people. It's all about balance in our lives. I am not an extremist, just more cautious these days. I am a read the food label addict though and really this way of life is super easy! Not the fastest.. but it can be easy! Banana's and almond butter are my favorite breakfast now, I eat a protein shake for lunch that I love! there are quick things out there! you just got to look, do some research.. and if you have more questions on where I get these things (because we also live by a budget) I will tell you all my secrets! ;)
oh, I also only workout 45-60 min a day. 20 min cardio and 30-45 min of ballet exercises. That might seem like a lot to some, but I started off with just 10 min cardio and 20 min of strength.. and was still losing weight like crazy! The secret really is food! I now eat to lose and maintain and exercise to strengthen myself. No more exercising to lose weight and no more 2 hours at the gym! :)
Hope you all have a nice day! Also, I will post more recipes as I go.. cause I was just thinking.. I have some other really good ones.. I just need to get them out!
Our little Family
Thursday, April 2, 2015
Tuesday, March 31, 2015
The Big long Utah trip!
So we just got back from our Utah vacation trip! Abigail, Michael, and I have been gone for almost 4 weeks! Pretty much the whole month of March! Holy Cow! 2 1/2 weeks later Mike and Grace joined us.. Seriously living without them was so hard and long. I really don't know how people emotionally survive? The first 2 days I was crying spontaneously and then after that, I was having a hard time in the evenings when we would talk on the phone. The reason I was down in Utah for so long was that we had a month full of events down there that both Mike and I couldn't be there for.
For instance... My dear friend who was a sister missionary who served in our ward was getting married to her High school sweetheart on March 6th and her bridal shower was the night before. She and I became sisters while she served here and I have grown quite attached to that cutie! I promised her when she was up here serving that I would try to be there for her wedding someday and her wedding was the same month my little sister Maggie was blessing her baby and My little brother Neal was leaving on his mission, but the dates were spanned out, so Mike and I decided to have me stay the entire month. That way I get to enjoy my family for a while, which I never get to do. I really had a good time and even though that time away from each other was hard, it was really nice to spend quality time with my family.
Abigail turned 2 while on the trip! She has gotten so big! She is such a spunky and strong willed little human.. She is very vocal and opinionated, she really is perfect in every way! We love her sooooooooooooooo much! I still can't believe my baby is 2.. it's a little bitter sweet.
I took a bunch of pictures from the trip.. I guess I'll tell the stories with the pictures.. they aren't in correct order though and I'm too lazy to fix that.. ;)
I really had a great time! The one thing I didn't get pictures of though, was Mike and I got a night away from the kids. My parents babysat the kids, and Mike and I went to the Anniversary INN in Salt lake City, close to the temple. We stayed in the Grande Bridal sweet. It was incredible! Seriously. The room's online looked super cheesy and we couldn't stop laughing at some of them, but in person, it was pretty cool.. still a bit of a cheese factor.. but not cheap cheesy. If you are ever in Salt lake City, you should check them out! Mike and I want to go every time we take a trip to Utah. It was so romantic, especially after missing each other for two weeks! We really got to re-kindle our love for each other. We went out for some nice sushi, we only shared 3 rolls since we didn't want to be stuffed or bloated that night... ;) :) haha.. We went to the hotel checked in.. I dressed up in a nice beautiful ivory dress and strappy heels ( I love heels) So it was fun to dress up like we were dating again. Mike dressed nice and we went to The cheesecake factory and shared a key lime and mango cheesecake.. it was so fancy and delicious! It was fun trying something new other than chocolate.. (always my first choice). We then headed back to the Hotel and spent some much needed alone time together.. we actually got to cuddle in a bed without 3 little kids jumping in to join us. The next day, Mike and I walked around temple square and city creek mall, ate lunch at our favorite burger place in Utah. It was seriously such a special 24 hours. We had some serious bonding time, and I was reminded of what a blessing My husband is to me. He really is my everything! My very best friend! we left that day feeling stronger and more connected, which didn't feel possible, since we are big time love birds before this night anyways. Haha.. but it was a great reminder to rekindle and take time to focus on each other often.. we want to make sure we do at least once a week. To have a real focused on each other date night. That time together was really nice and special, and definitely something every marriage needs on a regular basis. Anyway, so all in all the trip was really nice, we did get the stomach flu though in the last 4 days of our trip.. not fun! but we are on the mend, getting to rest in our own comfy home. :) I'm just grateful for the time we got to spend and all the family time we had! I got to play with my siblings a lot! We even played night games like old times with our spouses. We went out a midnight to an elementary school field in Salem and played ultimate glow in the dark Frisbee and dodge ball. It was a blast! My family is so hilarious! It really was one the best memories ever! I just love my family! :) What a great trip!
For instance... My dear friend who was a sister missionary who served in our ward was getting married to her High school sweetheart on March 6th and her bridal shower was the night before. She and I became sisters while she served here and I have grown quite attached to that cutie! I promised her when she was up here serving that I would try to be there for her wedding someday and her wedding was the same month my little sister Maggie was blessing her baby and My little brother Neal was leaving on his mission, but the dates were spanned out, so Mike and I decided to have me stay the entire month. That way I get to enjoy my family for a while, which I never get to do. I really had a good time and even though that time away from each other was hard, it was really nice to spend quality time with my family.
Abigail turned 2 while on the trip! She has gotten so big! She is such a spunky and strong willed little human.. She is very vocal and opinionated, she really is perfect in every way! We love her sooooooooooooooo much! I still can't believe my baby is 2.. it's a little bitter sweet.
I took a bunch of pictures from the trip.. I guess I'll tell the stories with the pictures.. they aren't in correct order though and I'm too lazy to fix that.. ;)
This is me and my nephew cuddling.. he's my little buddy.. :)
This was taken right after dropping Neal (Elder Dorrough) off at the MTC. We went to our favorite place, Café Rio. Mmmmmmm...
This was the morning Neal took out his endowments at the Provo Temple. It was really fun and special. We all did family names from my Mom's side and I had a special experience that'll be secret and sacred to me. I love this Gospel and the knowledge that we can be together forever.
Here is my little nephew Jude flirting with me.. he seriously melts my heart! I even wrote him a song called, "i'm in love with a boy named Jude, I love you." Whenever I sing it to him he smile's and coo's, it's so sweet and special. He's my first "blood" nephew. The first time he and I met, I felt our connection, and I think he felt it too.. Families really are together forever, even before this life. I just know it and feel it.. my experience with Jude is proof to me.
The kids at Costa vida with all the family. Just a fun family outing with ALL of my family and siblings! This trip has been sooo fun!
Again, me and my little buddy, Jude!
The kids fishing with Grandpa, they even caught a little trout!
Dropping off and saying goodbye to my little brother, Neal! It was emotional.. goodbyes are hard, especially when you know you won't see them for 2years! We're so proud of him!
Michael is going to miss his uncle Neal.. Those two are real good pals.
Abigail on her 2nd birthday! Chocolate sprinkle donuts for breakfast! She was in Heaven!
Michael being silly on Grandma's mini Farm!
Abigail in her cape and crown Grandma made her for her Birthday! She was sooooo excited! She walked around like she really was a super special girl! She really is! ;)
We took family pictures while in Utah since it is rare when our entire family is all together and this would have been the last time for at least 6 years. Since my brothers are all less than 2 years apart and all plan to serve mission's like Neal. This picture is of my sister Crystal and her super talented husband Adam.
This is my little Brother Michael and his wife Chelsea and their new puppy.. not sure on the name yet. ;)
The whole Gang! :) Love my Family!
My little Sister Maggie, her super fun and awesome Husband Taylor and the little cutie, Jude. :)
My little sister Brandy (crystal's twin) and her super awesome Husband Tom, and their son Nick.
Here, is my little family! I am so blessed to have them! P.S.. This was the best picture we could get out of at least 20.. haha They were all grumpy at one point.. ;
My little brother Neal (Elder Dorrough) I got the honor of taking and editing his mission pictures.. this one is my favorite. Such a sweet guy! Lansing Michigan is lucky to have him! We also had his farewell, I didn't take any pictures at his luncheon afterwards, but it was a nice day.. I also had the honors of singing a special rendition of "I know that my redeemer lives" before Neal spoke at his Mission Farwell at church. It was a special experience for me and for him. :)
Me and my dear Friend Jule's at Krystal's wedding.. we are in the same ward (I'm her visiting teacher) and we both came down, not knowing each other was coming and got to spend some great time together! She is one special and amazing lady! Love her!! This was us at the Salt Lake City temple. We came early before the Sealing ceremony of Krystal and Jacob to do a live endowment session. It was awesome! The SLC temple is gorgeous!!
My favorite girl and her new Husband! :)
I really had a great time! The one thing I didn't get pictures of though, was Mike and I got a night away from the kids. My parents babysat the kids, and Mike and I went to the Anniversary INN in Salt lake City, close to the temple. We stayed in the Grande Bridal sweet. It was incredible! Seriously. The room's online looked super cheesy and we couldn't stop laughing at some of them, but in person, it was pretty cool.. still a bit of a cheese factor.. but not cheap cheesy. If you are ever in Salt lake City, you should check them out! Mike and I want to go every time we take a trip to Utah. It was so romantic, especially after missing each other for two weeks! We really got to re-kindle our love for each other. We went out for some nice sushi, we only shared 3 rolls since we didn't want to be stuffed or bloated that night... ;) :) haha.. We went to the hotel checked in.. I dressed up in a nice beautiful ivory dress and strappy heels ( I love heels) So it was fun to dress up like we were dating again. Mike dressed nice and we went to The cheesecake factory and shared a key lime and mango cheesecake.. it was so fancy and delicious! It was fun trying something new other than chocolate.. (always my first choice). We then headed back to the Hotel and spent some much needed alone time together.. we actually got to cuddle in a bed without 3 little kids jumping in to join us. The next day, Mike and I walked around temple square and city creek mall, ate lunch at our favorite burger place in Utah. It was seriously such a special 24 hours. We had some serious bonding time, and I was reminded of what a blessing My husband is to me. He really is my everything! My very best friend! we left that day feeling stronger and more connected, which didn't feel possible, since we are big time love birds before this night anyways. Haha.. but it was a great reminder to rekindle and take time to focus on each other often.. we want to make sure we do at least once a week. To have a real focused on each other date night. That time together was really nice and special, and definitely something every marriage needs on a regular basis. Anyway, so all in all the trip was really nice, we did get the stomach flu though in the last 4 days of our trip.. not fun! but we are on the mend, getting to rest in our own comfy home. :) I'm just grateful for the time we got to spend and all the family time we had! I got to play with my siblings a lot! We even played night games like old times with our spouses. We went out a midnight to an elementary school field in Salem and played ultimate glow in the dark Frisbee and dodge ball. It was a blast! My family is so hilarious! It really was one the best memories ever! I just love my family! :) What a great trip!
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
Opening up..
So tonight, I needed to relax, being a mom can be stressful, my job never ends and there is so much to do, not just with the kids but other responsibilities outside of the home. My body is feeling sore after it's injuries a couple weeks ago and my mind is exhausted so after the kids went to sleep I took a relaxing Epsom salt bath. I had a lot of time to think...
There is a thought weighing hard on my mind...
Have any of you ever met someone and you could tell by the air, that you bug them or that they don't like you? Even though there is no real evidence, just body language and observation of how they treat others versus you. Why is that? I wonder. Why is it that this person doesn't seem to like you? What are you doing wrong? have you offended them? I hope not! Why don't they seem to like me? That is a question I ask myself sometimes. Actually all the time when I was a young girl. I hate that feeling. It makes me feel weird and not likeable.
You may not know this, but I am super insecure inside.. I don't feel super likeable, I'm friendly but what if someone knew all your quarks the weirdness that makes you.... you and they didn't like you or they thought you were weird. That is how I feel a lot. I was picked on in middle school for being "different" I was a "Molly Mormon." Even though 90% of my peers shared my same faith. But it wasn't just in school, it was in my young women classes too. I had zero friends for a while.. not joking. Even though as an adult, I realize how ridiculous those boys and girls were acting, it still effects apart of me. I was called nasty names on a daily bases, my home was egged, and the girls in my young women's classes refused to sit next to me or talk to me, and called me names there as well. I didn't understand why I was so unlikeable. I tried so hard.. I was that girl who cried in her bedroom at night because she felt so alone. My mom would tell me what every mom, and exactly what I would tell my daughter, and that is, they are jealous. In my mind, I was stuck thinking, "of what?" they have it all, I'm not cuter than they are? so they have no real reason to be jealous if that was the case.
There were some instances where I had young women leaders who treated me differently, they were rude sometimes.. there was one in particular that my mom had spoken to, and it came down to.. that she thought because I am "cute, blonde, and talented" that I didn't need "extra attention" She didn't want my ego to blow out of proportion. (This was middle school age, not high school where we lived in Provo)( My young women leaders and friends there were awesome!!) ;)
I promise I am going some where with this!
These things have gotten me thinking.. Women are just grown up girls. We still have the same insecurities and sometimes deal with that struggle.
We should give everyone a fair chance. The beautiful, plain, talented, outgoing, shy, even the socially awkward. Give them a chance for a true friend. Enough with judging others or ignoring them because they aren't like you.
I sure hope I don't make anyone feels this way! I know that I don't spark up conversations with nearly the amount of women I want to get to know within my own ward. I want to be better at that. It hurts being left out. I can't tell you enough that just because in your eyes I may look like I am super confident, that I might have a pretty face or I am super outgoing, doesn't mean I am just as insecure, I may not see what you and the world sees, and all I want is a friend. I really just want a chance for you to get to know me because I think I can make a really great friend.
There is this song that I love from the Primary Song book called "I'll walk with you." and it says, "if you don't talk like most people do, some people walk away from you, but I won't, I won't! If you don't talk as most people do, some people talk and laugh at you, but I won't! I won't! I'll walk with you, I'll talk with you, that's how I'll show my love for you. Jesus walked away from none. He gave his love to everyone, so I will, I will! Jesus blessed all he could see, then turned and said, "come follow me!" So I will, I will! I'll walk with you, I'll talk with you, that's how I'll show my love for you!"
That is one of my absolute favorite hymns! The words are true and so simple to understand! We don't truly know what is going on in the mind of a person. They may seem like they have it all together, but inside they feel like shambles. You may judge what they say or how they act because they don't talk or act the way you do or would in certain situations. Really those people still deserve your friendship. I can totally relate. I tend to feel frustrated with people when I don't understand them... so I'm totally not on my "high horse" preaching repentance! ;) This subject has just been on my mind a lot, and I can relate both ways and I really hurt for the person who is insecure inside, because I can relate. It's a crappy feeling when you give a friendly face to someone, to have them in turn ignore you. Sometimes when we are rushed we ignore our surroundings, I guess it would be better for us to slow down and make the people around us feel loved, important, and accepted.
To the world, I may seem like I have it all together, You might think I'm pretty, or that I am smart and talented and because you think this, you might think I also know this to be true but it's the opposite. I don't always see what others see. I see a young girl who struggles with rosacea on her cheeks, dark circles under her eyes, crooked teeth, broad shoulders, mommy pooch, saggy boobs, but I'm not just insecure on the outside, but inside a little too. I don't feel smart, I am a deep thinker and sometimes I don't feel relatable with people. I am quirky and have a silly sense of humor and I laugh at potty jokes. I walk around with a big smile on my face and sometimes that bugs people (that's rare I think), and when I recognize someone, I don't hesitate to run over and talk to them even if I forgot their name. I think spiritual all the time. I think that is my biggest insecurity. Shouldn't be. but it is sometimes. I feel like people don't relate with me and I fear people might think I'm weird. I don't understand why my mind won't shut off to thinking deeply like that. With all this said, I want to share that because of these insecurities, I don't walk around in a dark hole, when I said I walk around with a smile on my face, I do because I know who I am in my Father in Heaven's eyes and that is all that matters to me. (also my husband makes me feel beautiful to him, and that's all that matters too.) but that doesn't mean I believe him all the time.. he is half blind after all! ;) but even knowing who I am as a daughter of God doesn't mean I still face challenges of insecure thoughts.
The reason why I feel so insecure about these things, is because in the past I have been made fun of for all of the above. So I keep it in. I didn't want to share this and have people who read this to run to my aide.. I just want everyone to know who I am inside, and I think these thoughts can help us all care a little more for the people around us that you "think" you have figured out. We really don't know what the deepest thoughts are in the people around us.
Anyways, today I just miss my family, and my miss my dear friends who became sisters to me, Rachel, Sara, and Jura. ;) Wish we all didn't have to live so darn far apart! XOXOXO!
P.S.. This all might be me just super girly hormonal.. even us women can't figure ourselves out! Sheesh! ;)
Love, Camilla
There is a thought weighing hard on my mind...
Have any of you ever met someone and you could tell by the air, that you bug them or that they don't like you? Even though there is no real evidence, just body language and observation of how they treat others versus you. Why is that? I wonder. Why is it that this person doesn't seem to like you? What are you doing wrong? have you offended them? I hope not! Why don't they seem to like me? That is a question I ask myself sometimes. Actually all the time when I was a young girl. I hate that feeling. It makes me feel weird and not likeable.
You may not know this, but I am super insecure inside.. I don't feel super likeable, I'm friendly but what if someone knew all your quarks the weirdness that makes you.... you and they didn't like you or they thought you were weird. That is how I feel a lot. I was picked on in middle school for being "different" I was a "Molly Mormon." Even though 90% of my peers shared my same faith. But it wasn't just in school, it was in my young women classes too. I had zero friends for a while.. not joking. Even though as an adult, I realize how ridiculous those boys and girls were acting, it still effects apart of me. I was called nasty names on a daily bases, my home was egged, and the girls in my young women's classes refused to sit next to me or talk to me, and called me names there as well. I didn't understand why I was so unlikeable. I tried so hard.. I was that girl who cried in her bedroom at night because she felt so alone. My mom would tell me what every mom, and exactly what I would tell my daughter, and that is, they are jealous. In my mind, I was stuck thinking, "of what?" they have it all, I'm not cuter than they are? so they have no real reason to be jealous if that was the case.
There were some instances where I had young women leaders who treated me differently, they were rude sometimes.. there was one in particular that my mom had spoken to, and it came down to.. that she thought because I am "cute, blonde, and talented" that I didn't need "extra attention" She didn't want my ego to blow out of proportion. (This was middle school age, not high school where we lived in Provo)( My young women leaders and friends there were awesome!!) ;)
I promise I am going some where with this!
These things have gotten me thinking.. Women are just grown up girls. We still have the same insecurities and sometimes deal with that struggle.
We should give everyone a fair chance. The beautiful, plain, talented, outgoing, shy, even the socially awkward. Give them a chance for a true friend. Enough with judging others or ignoring them because they aren't like you.
I sure hope I don't make anyone feels this way! I know that I don't spark up conversations with nearly the amount of women I want to get to know within my own ward. I want to be better at that. It hurts being left out. I can't tell you enough that just because in your eyes I may look like I am super confident, that I might have a pretty face or I am super outgoing, doesn't mean I am just as insecure, I may not see what you and the world sees, and all I want is a friend. I really just want a chance for you to get to know me because I think I can make a really great friend.
There is this song that I love from the Primary Song book called "I'll walk with you." and it says, "if you don't talk like most people do, some people walk away from you, but I won't, I won't! If you don't talk as most people do, some people talk and laugh at you, but I won't! I won't! I'll walk with you, I'll talk with you, that's how I'll show my love for you. Jesus walked away from none. He gave his love to everyone, so I will, I will! Jesus blessed all he could see, then turned and said, "come follow me!" So I will, I will! I'll walk with you, I'll talk with you, that's how I'll show my love for you!"
That is one of my absolute favorite hymns! The words are true and so simple to understand! We don't truly know what is going on in the mind of a person. They may seem like they have it all together, but inside they feel like shambles. You may judge what they say or how they act because they don't talk or act the way you do or would in certain situations. Really those people still deserve your friendship. I can totally relate. I tend to feel frustrated with people when I don't understand them... so I'm totally not on my "high horse" preaching repentance! ;) This subject has just been on my mind a lot, and I can relate both ways and I really hurt for the person who is insecure inside, because I can relate. It's a crappy feeling when you give a friendly face to someone, to have them in turn ignore you. Sometimes when we are rushed we ignore our surroundings, I guess it would be better for us to slow down and make the people around us feel loved, important, and accepted.
To the world, I may seem like I have it all together, You might think I'm pretty, or that I am smart and talented and because you think this, you might think I also know this to be true but it's the opposite. I don't always see what others see. I see a young girl who struggles with rosacea on her cheeks, dark circles under her eyes, crooked teeth, broad shoulders, mommy pooch, saggy boobs, but I'm not just insecure on the outside, but inside a little too. I don't feel smart, I am a deep thinker and sometimes I don't feel relatable with people. I am quirky and have a silly sense of humor and I laugh at potty jokes. I walk around with a big smile on my face and sometimes that bugs people (that's rare I think), and when I recognize someone, I don't hesitate to run over and talk to them even if I forgot their name. I think spiritual all the time. I think that is my biggest insecurity. Shouldn't be. but it is sometimes. I feel like people don't relate with me and I fear people might think I'm weird. I don't understand why my mind won't shut off to thinking deeply like that. With all this said, I want to share that because of these insecurities, I don't walk around in a dark hole, when I said I walk around with a smile on my face, I do because I know who I am in my Father in Heaven's eyes and that is all that matters to me. (also my husband makes me feel beautiful to him, and that's all that matters too.) but that doesn't mean I believe him all the time.. he is half blind after all! ;) but even knowing who I am as a daughter of God doesn't mean I still face challenges of insecure thoughts.
The reason why I feel so insecure about these things, is because in the past I have been made fun of for all of the above. So I keep it in. I didn't want to share this and have people who read this to run to my aide.. I just want everyone to know who I am inside, and I think these thoughts can help us all care a little more for the people around us that you "think" you have figured out. We really don't know what the deepest thoughts are in the people around us.
Anyways, today I just miss my family, and my miss my dear friends who became sisters to me, Rachel, Sara, and Jura. ;) Wish we all didn't have to live so darn far apart! XOXOXO!
P.S.. This all might be me just super girly hormonal.. even us women can't figure ourselves out! Sheesh! ;)
Love, Camilla
Sunday, January 4, 2015
Huge Update on our crazy lives! Christmas and New Years addition. ;)
Goodness it's been a while! It's about 2 am.. i'm too lazy to verify, I'm sick.... well, the whole family is sick! We barely made it through Christmas with out the buggies attacking our home. I am actually grateful we were healthy during the week of Christmas. So for the update where I don't even know where to start. That's how it goes when I start writing.. I just do it when I find time and hope I can think of what to write.
This month was such a blurr! I guess I'll start with Christmas. First we had a ward Christmas party. It was really nice.. I really love our ward! We have really amazing people who feel like family to us. I was the photographer who got to take the pictures of the kids on Santa's knee, and oh my goodness gracious the guy who played Santa (brother Belliston) was amazing! He looked like the real deal! and he was perfect! He's so jolly and charismatic naturally anyways, so it was really a no brainer for him to be Santa. Even I got my picture with him, because I adore him! He's been apart of Mike's life since he was a young'n. Here are the pics from that and anyone from our ward who might read this, your pictures are on their way! :)
My kids crack me up! Michael of course stuck out his tongue, Grace was sweet like always and Abigail liked him from a distance but Santa wanted a crying picture.. and he got what he asked for! Seriously none of the other kids cried when they saw him (i'm talking about the whole primary full of kids) He's so sweet, that every kid smiles.. but not Abigail.. she just looked at us and puckerd her lips and her chin and bottom lip started to quiver.. She is soooooooo cute when she cries!
Afterwards (the Christmas party was a breakfast by the way) that evening some ladies I serve with in Primary had a girls night and celebrated our good friend (Kari)'s birthday. We had quite the adventure! It was a long night full of imperfections that had us laughing and soaking wet from the wind and rain. We went to Applebee's and went bowling.. pretty simple right? wrong..seriously everything that could have gone wrong, did.. and it was pretty funny! I just love the ladies I serve with! We have a blast and they are so real and down to earth. It really was sooo much fun!
For Christmas eve we had our good friends (the Nielsens) over and we always have fun with them. We just goof off. I took a ton of pictures but I have yet to upload them so that'll be on the next post. We both made yummy appetizers and we had loaded potato soup for dinner. We also decorated sugar cookies for Santa with the kids. We had some fun with that. Once the kids were done and running around, we made a delicious looking cookie woman giving birth in honor of my sister having a baby the following week ahead and we sent her the picture.. it was pretty gory.. and sooo funny! We also made some other hilarious ones. The reason we do this is because the back story from a few years ago.. Mike and I were in Utah for Christmas and my Mom's tradition is to decorate sugar cookies for Santa. Well she has some serious OCD when it comes to nicely decorated cookies (sorry mom) it's the truth. We're pretty much her slaves and we have to make them look nice (her orders) Just kidding! (we love decorating pretty cookies mom!) Anyway, Mike did not know this, we did not warn him. He started decorating his own creativity, making his own colors and patterns (not pretty at all) well when my mom came in to see the cookies, my mom pointed to Mike's cookies and asked who made these hideous cookies? (thinking it was one of my brothers goofing off) and (she was mad). We all look over kinda confused, that's when my step dad walked over to see what she was frustrated over and he saw Mike's cookie's and said (excuse the language), "THIS LOOKS LIKE A PILE OF SHIT!!) oh. my. gosh. We were laughing sooooo hard! and I still laugh to the point of tears every time I think about it. They didn't know that Mike was actually doing his best work and they didn't know it was his. Poor guy. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! So that led on to my siblings and I giving my parents a hard time and actually (purposefully) making "POOP" cookies. So This year I made ginger bread men cut out sugar cookies and made brown choc frosting and made the man look like he had pooped his pants and sent the picture to my parents. Anyways that is our new tradition between us kids and now my parents. We then had Apple Crumble pie and vanilla ice cream and watched Tim Allen's "the Santa Clause" one of my favorites. We also opened Christmas jammies. After the Nielsen's went home we got the kiddos ready for bed, read our Scriptures, this time about Jesus's birth and went to bed... well the kids did and Mr. and Mrs Clause got the presents ready under the tree and ate cookies and milk. ;)
The kids had a blast Christmas morning, they were loved and Santa was generous this year.. more than we had planned. We went for simple and we still were pretty simple other than the fact we bought them humongous stuffed animals (2 unicorns and 1 lion) the kids loved them but they take up a lot of room. For breakfast I made my usual croissant sausage, egg and cheese casserole. We love it and I have made it almost every year since we've been married.
Later that afternoon we went to Mike's sister's house for a Family Christmas party. It was fun as usual. Jen is awesome at planning games and activities and we also had a white elephant gift exchange, which was very entertaining! I gorged on Russian tea cakes.. MY FAVORITE!! and some delicious chocolate hazelnut fudge my Sister in law Chris made. She is the best at desserts. I'm pretty sure I ate 2 lbs of butter that day.. but I didn't gain weight. I gained 1 lb the whole holiday week! Which is a miracle... or just exercising everyday so I could eat like that. ;)
For New Years The family was sick, so it just Mike and I and the kids. It was quiet and simple and relaxed. Very nice though. The kids went to bed fairly early and Mike and I stayed up cuddling on the couch and watching a movie that ended just in time for the count down and the New Years kiss. ;) Which Michael woke up shortly after and was up pretty much the whole night crying.. so it ended being a long night but we made it!
New Years day we went bowling with Mike's family and like every year we had a blast! I played better than I usually do. Mike and his dad and brothers... and Jenny are very competitive at sports with each other mainly bowling and pool. It's fun to watch them. I try to keep up.. and someday I'll beat'm at their own game.
When I contemplate the new year, I can only think of all the blessings that came pouring in! At the beginning of last year we were in the middle of purchasing our first home. We love it so much and we felt it was ours the moment we stepped foot in it. It fits our family and it was a loooong shot to get. It was a short sale and we made a low but fair offer on it and through miracles from the lord we got it. Mike was in a stressful job at the time, I could go on and on about it. All I can say to keep it short and to keep myself from turning into a fire breathing dragon again is that Mike and I were grateful for the opportunities working there got him so far but soooo disappointed in the men that he looked up to as mentors. It was a hard year there, Mike was amazing though! He stayed positive, continued to do his best even when his boss's tried their hardest to belittle him in the office (seriously, I can't understand men's egos) and when they tried pushing him down, he kept pushing up. He stayed honest with clients, was genuine and kind and because of those qualities, through another customer, another loan officer with her own team sought after to hire Mike. Once our home closed and several "second chances with his boss's he walked out and quit. It was the best day! seriously!! I cried tears of joy.. literally! I felt all the negativity and frustration lift off my shoulders, that we could finally rid ourselves of those darn guys. ;)
So eventually Mike took the job with this other lady to be her assistant and it has been such a blessing in our home. She has been so good to our family and so good to Mike. She values him and I can't tell you how important that is to me. Finally someone who see's Mike and how hard he works the way I do and isn't threatened by his potential. Both of them have benefited from this partnership. It was so heart breaking for me to watch the man I love work his tail off in hopes of getting approval and appreciation from his boss, to get put down instead, to be lied about, to take the blame for their mistakes, to be accused of things he never did, and for his integrity to be questioned all in the name of someone else's pride and ego. He gave his all and he turned the other cheek when all this was going on, giving them forgiveness. I just couldn't stand it. I can definitely learn from Mike's example. Even to this day he won't say a bad thing about them. When people ask, he only mention's the positives. When just the other day we heard from a client that they have been throwing Mike's name in the mud, telling people they had to "let him go" that he isn't a good loan officer. Seriously? man.. can you tell I'm just a little tender about this? ;) Anyway, this has come up right when I have been contemplating the new year, and I broke down in tears the other night in gratitude to Our Father in Heaven who got Mike out of that awful work situation and provided him better one. He's been blessed and in turn blessed our home with peace and comfort. We just love his new boss, she is one of a kind for sure! It's really been a great year!
I guess I didn't keep that short.. but it felt good to rid that off my chest. It just goes to show that the lord is really aware of our lives! He blesses us when we do good. I am so grateful to Mike that he doesn't give in to the pressures of other men to lie and cheat people just for money, that he involves the lord not just in his personal life but in his work life as well. He may not be incredibly wealthy but he has blessed our home and family immensely for choosing the right even at work. It's a hard decision to make these days and he does it because he wants to be obedient. It's what I find so attractive about him. Sorry, I could go and on about this too! haha I am one of those doting wives who raves about her "perfect" husband... rubbing it in to everyone's face.. not at all what I am trying to do. ;) seriously! He's not perfect at all but I will say that I am grateful his imperfections are not the ones of deceit, greed, and pride... mainly because I can be pretty prideful at times and it would be hard to have two of us like that. ;) haha
Anyways, We had a great year, so many blessings to count, some hardships along the way, and a loved Sister gone to heaven as well. Life keeps us guessing. We have so much more going on this year and thank goodness for this blog to jot it all down. ;) Hope you all had a great Holiday this month! I will update more soon! I promise I have more to talk about! Love to you all!
Love, Camilla :)
This month was such a blurr! I guess I'll start with Christmas. First we had a ward Christmas party. It was really nice.. I really love our ward! We have really amazing people who feel like family to us. I was the photographer who got to take the pictures of the kids on Santa's knee, and oh my goodness gracious the guy who played Santa (brother Belliston) was amazing! He looked like the real deal! and he was perfect! He's so jolly and charismatic naturally anyways, so it was really a no brainer for him to be Santa. Even I got my picture with him, because I adore him! He's been apart of Mike's life since he was a young'n. Here are the pics from that and anyone from our ward who might read this, your pictures are on their way! :)
My kids crack me up! Michael of course stuck out his tongue, Grace was sweet like always and Abigail liked him from a distance but Santa wanted a crying picture.. and he got what he asked for! Seriously none of the other kids cried when they saw him (i'm talking about the whole primary full of kids) He's so sweet, that every kid smiles.. but not Abigail.. she just looked at us and puckerd her lips and her chin and bottom lip started to quiver.. She is soooooooo cute when she cries!
Afterwards (the Christmas party was a breakfast by the way) that evening some ladies I serve with in Primary had a girls night and celebrated our good friend (Kari)'s birthday. We had quite the adventure! It was a long night full of imperfections that had us laughing and soaking wet from the wind and rain. We went to Applebee's and went bowling.. pretty simple right? wrong..seriously everything that could have gone wrong, did.. and it was pretty funny! I just love the ladies I serve with! We have a blast and they are so real and down to earth. It really was sooo much fun!
For Christmas eve we had our good friends (the Nielsens) over and we always have fun with them. We just goof off. I took a ton of pictures but I have yet to upload them so that'll be on the next post. We both made yummy appetizers and we had loaded potato soup for dinner. We also decorated sugar cookies for Santa with the kids. We had some fun with that. Once the kids were done and running around, we made a delicious looking cookie woman giving birth in honor of my sister having a baby the following week ahead and we sent her the picture.. it was pretty gory.. and sooo funny! We also made some other hilarious ones. The reason we do this is because the back story from a few years ago.. Mike and I were in Utah for Christmas and my Mom's tradition is to decorate sugar cookies for Santa. Well she has some serious OCD when it comes to nicely decorated cookies (sorry mom) it's the truth. We're pretty much her slaves and we have to make them look nice (her orders) Just kidding! (we love decorating pretty cookies mom!) Anyway, Mike did not know this, we did not warn him. He started decorating his own creativity, making his own colors and patterns (not pretty at all) well when my mom came in to see the cookies, my mom pointed to Mike's cookies and asked who made these hideous cookies? (thinking it was one of my brothers goofing off) and (she was mad). We all look over kinda confused, that's when my step dad walked over to see what she was frustrated over and he saw Mike's cookie's and said (excuse the language), "THIS LOOKS LIKE A PILE OF SHIT!!) oh. my. gosh. We were laughing sooooo hard! and I still laugh to the point of tears every time I think about it. They didn't know that Mike was actually doing his best work and they didn't know it was his. Poor guy. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! So that led on to my siblings and I giving my parents a hard time and actually (purposefully) making "POOP" cookies. So This year I made ginger bread men cut out sugar cookies and made brown choc frosting and made the man look like he had pooped his pants and sent the picture to my parents. Anyways that is our new tradition between us kids and now my parents. We then had Apple Crumble pie and vanilla ice cream and watched Tim Allen's "the Santa Clause" one of my favorites. We also opened Christmas jammies. After the Nielsen's went home we got the kiddos ready for bed, read our Scriptures, this time about Jesus's birth and went to bed... well the kids did and Mr. and Mrs Clause got the presents ready under the tree and ate cookies and milk. ;)
The kids had a blast Christmas morning, they were loved and Santa was generous this year.. more than we had planned. We went for simple and we still were pretty simple other than the fact we bought them humongous stuffed animals (2 unicorns and 1 lion) the kids loved them but they take up a lot of room. For breakfast I made my usual croissant sausage, egg and cheese casserole. We love it and I have made it almost every year since we've been married.
Later that afternoon we went to Mike's sister's house for a Family Christmas party. It was fun as usual. Jen is awesome at planning games and activities and we also had a white elephant gift exchange, which was very entertaining! I gorged on Russian tea cakes.. MY FAVORITE!! and some delicious chocolate hazelnut fudge my Sister in law Chris made. She is the best at desserts. I'm pretty sure I ate 2 lbs of butter that day.. but I didn't gain weight. I gained 1 lb the whole holiday week! Which is a miracle... or just exercising everyday so I could eat like that. ;)
For New Years The family was sick, so it just Mike and I and the kids. It was quiet and simple and relaxed. Very nice though. The kids went to bed fairly early and Mike and I stayed up cuddling on the couch and watching a movie that ended just in time for the count down and the New Years kiss. ;) Which Michael woke up shortly after and was up pretty much the whole night crying.. so it ended being a long night but we made it!
New Years day we went bowling with Mike's family and like every year we had a blast! I played better than I usually do. Mike and his dad and brothers... and Jenny are very competitive at sports with each other mainly bowling and pool. It's fun to watch them. I try to keep up.. and someday I'll beat'm at their own game.
When I contemplate the new year, I can only think of all the blessings that came pouring in! At the beginning of last year we were in the middle of purchasing our first home. We love it so much and we felt it was ours the moment we stepped foot in it. It fits our family and it was a loooong shot to get. It was a short sale and we made a low but fair offer on it and through miracles from the lord we got it. Mike was in a stressful job at the time, I could go on and on about it. All I can say to keep it short and to keep myself from turning into a fire breathing dragon again is that Mike and I were grateful for the opportunities working there got him so far but soooo disappointed in the men that he looked up to as mentors. It was a hard year there, Mike was amazing though! He stayed positive, continued to do his best even when his boss's tried their hardest to belittle him in the office (seriously, I can't understand men's egos) and when they tried pushing him down, he kept pushing up. He stayed honest with clients, was genuine and kind and because of those qualities, through another customer, another loan officer with her own team sought after to hire Mike. Once our home closed and several "second chances with his boss's he walked out and quit. It was the best day! seriously!! I cried tears of joy.. literally! I felt all the negativity and frustration lift off my shoulders, that we could finally rid ourselves of those darn guys. ;)
So eventually Mike took the job with this other lady to be her assistant and it has been such a blessing in our home. She has been so good to our family and so good to Mike. She values him and I can't tell you how important that is to me. Finally someone who see's Mike and how hard he works the way I do and isn't threatened by his potential. Both of them have benefited from this partnership. It was so heart breaking for me to watch the man I love work his tail off in hopes of getting approval and appreciation from his boss, to get put down instead, to be lied about, to take the blame for their mistakes, to be accused of things he never did, and for his integrity to be questioned all in the name of someone else's pride and ego. He gave his all and he turned the other cheek when all this was going on, giving them forgiveness. I just couldn't stand it. I can definitely learn from Mike's example. Even to this day he won't say a bad thing about them. When people ask, he only mention's the positives. When just the other day we heard from a client that they have been throwing Mike's name in the mud, telling people they had to "let him go" that he isn't a good loan officer. Seriously? man.. can you tell I'm just a little tender about this? ;) Anyway, this has come up right when I have been contemplating the new year, and I broke down in tears the other night in gratitude to Our Father in Heaven who got Mike out of that awful work situation and provided him better one. He's been blessed and in turn blessed our home with peace and comfort. We just love his new boss, she is one of a kind for sure! It's really been a great year!
I guess I didn't keep that short.. but it felt good to rid that off my chest. It just goes to show that the lord is really aware of our lives! He blesses us when we do good. I am so grateful to Mike that he doesn't give in to the pressures of other men to lie and cheat people just for money, that he involves the lord not just in his personal life but in his work life as well. He may not be incredibly wealthy but he has blessed our home and family immensely for choosing the right even at work. It's a hard decision to make these days and he does it because he wants to be obedient. It's what I find so attractive about him. Sorry, I could go and on about this too! haha I am one of those doting wives who raves about her "perfect" husband... rubbing it in to everyone's face.. not at all what I am trying to do. ;) seriously! He's not perfect at all but I will say that I am grateful his imperfections are not the ones of deceit, greed, and pride... mainly because I can be pretty prideful at times and it would be hard to have two of us like that. ;) haha
Anyways, We had a great year, so many blessings to count, some hardships along the way, and a loved Sister gone to heaven as well. Life keeps us guessing. We have so much more going on this year and thank goodness for this blog to jot it all down. ;) Hope you all had a great Holiday this month! I will update more soon! I promise I have more to talk about! Love to you all!
Love, Camilla :)
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